Dating App

I have dived into online dating websites before a few years ago and actually met someone. That didn’t last long at all. It could have been due to the set up of the dating site Ok cupid or simply due to lack of interest I had in my date after meeting her. Needless to say I never used that site again. In doing this assignment I joined Plenty of Fish. I am a lesbian and as far as I know there are not many sites out there for us, as popular as Grinder for males. I asked several friends which one they recommend and this one was a winner all around. Creating my account I used my real name and real information. When I first joined I only posted two pictures of my self and several weeks later I posted six more photos. I wanted to see if there would be a difference in how many girls would message me when I only had a few pictures verse several.  The response was large. In the beginning I would only sign on to find a few views and any where from two-five new messages. This was without me contacting anyone. Once I posted more photos I gained more views and over ten messages in my inbox. I believe this reaction is fairly normal for any site. People may only have wanted to contact me after I put up more pictures, verifying that I was who I said I am.

I also noticed that POF shows you who your “Top Prospects” are. I was curious as to how they determine that since there is no chemistry quiz or anything of the sort. I came to the conclusion that they base it off your advanced search. This includes: age, ethnicity, education, location, what type of relationship they are seeking, etc. From there they find who matches that allowing you to easily access their profile.

Overall the website is laid out well and easy to access. The app is free and there are options to upgrade with a fee if you so choose. The girls I have messaged are not creepy or aggressive. Once I stop responding to them they are not persistent to keep the conversation going like I have experienced on other sites. Plenty of fish allows the members to state whether they are there for friends, casual dating, relationships, or serious commitment. This makes it clear and easy to approach a person.

I’m queer

I was very apprehensive in trying this since I used to identify myself as a lesbian and anyone I told would most likely respond with a smart comment like “really, you don’t say”. However in the last several months I have had several conversations with friends on sexuality as being fluid. It is a topic that I have only recently changed my perspective on so I was interested in having the conversation.

The perfect scenario came about though just yesterday. I was having a discussion with an ex and she told me that she has feelings for a guy. She was very nervous telling me this information and disturbed with the idea of being with a male. She asked me if I thought she was crazy for having these feelings. My opinion really mattered to her and my response was “Well I am queer”. She asked me what I meant by that. I told her that I don’t think she is crazy. That having an attraction to a human whether male or female is about chemistry and connection, not merely physical make up. Being queer means having an open identification in terms of sexuality and that your sexuality is fluid. Having this discussion with someone I used to date was not what I had imagined however it was refreshing to share the “queer” ideology with someone who didn’t know it existed.