Sexology-oriented activity: Shelby

Almost my entire life I had never really thought of my sexuality. My high-strung, Christian parents had definitely NEVER discusses sex or sexuality with me. My private high school gave a small sex-ed talk, but most definitely was on the “abstinence bandwagon”. They did not publicly admit it, but any student could tell that the real theme of our talks was “do not have sex until marriage”. This all seemed great and fine when I dated throughout middle school and the first half of high school. My boyfriends were fun (some were serious) but none were extremely sexually based. We kissed – fondled maybe- but usually nothing more. This, I believe, was mainly due to their extremely strict Christian up-bringing. Their parents literally told us that “if we were alone for more than 5 minutes, only bad things would come” [no pun intended – ha]. But seriously, I was told that we WOULD have sex if we were left alone for more than 5 or 10 minutes. Thus, I was very sexually repressed (even during longterm relationships). When I started dating my boyfriend in the 11th grade… everything changed. I immediately saw sex and sexuality as a viable option. I had never before even considered having sex (to any large degree, at least). Yet, even upon our first kiss, something changed. We talked openly about sex. His parents (both doctors) were vey open about sex. They made sex jokes, talked about birth control and made SURE he was being safe. My boyfriend and I talked about it and decided we were both ready. We waited almost 6 months into our relationship, but we were most definitely ready. I convinced my (usually illogical) mother that I needed to be on the pill. I explained that we were going to do it anyway and would it not be safer if I was on the pill? She saw my logic and allowed it to be prescribed. We both dove into sex and had a great time – seeing as it was both of our first times. We had NO clue what we were doing. Yet, since we were both clueless, it was great. We had no way of knowing whether we were having “good sex” or “bad sex”. Anyways, his parents always preached that “as long as both partners are happy and OK with it, almost anything is alright in the bedroom. What happens there is between you and your partner – no one else. Not culture. Not religion. Not family. Just the two people”.

I really believe that my parents, their religion, my boyfriends religion (or lack there of) and my school all repressed my sexuality at a young age. I was SO sheltered until the 10th or 11th grade. I never dreamt of a cuss word or having sex. Yet, the second I changed boyfriends, I was introduced into a whole new world *cue Alladin music here*. What you are being told about sex completely molds your mindset. It is almost impossible to mold your own views of sex as a young person. I am glad that I finally got the chance to experience my own sexuality, explore and discover new things. With this change I learned about sex, porn, birth control… the whole nine yards. It also still amazes me that there are people in the world who are so out-of-tune with their sexuality (or with sex in general). It is a thing that everyone experiences on some level. It is human nature. Why can we not talk about it openly? Why do people have to feel or be so repressed?

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